The Onward March Of The Machines

People recently travelling along the M18 will not have failed to notice the massive wind turbine towers soaring over Thorne and Moorends – these bladeless monsters are remarkably reminiscent of those large aggressive robotic beasts, terrifying people and attacking communities in the film ‘War of the Worlds’.

Fully functional tri-bladed monsters have already advanced to our western border, where they stand over and intimidate the good people of Airmyn from the far side of the River Ouse, this stealthy advance to our border allowed and approved of by our neighbours.

Somewhat larger second generation monster turbines are already on their way to invade Howdenshire from the south, they plan to march into Sixpennywood, between Gilberdyke and Howden and cast their long shadows over Balkholme, this invasion was approved by the previous government’s appointed Planning Inspector against both the will of the people, and ERYC Planning Committee.

Shortly after we will see a further approved invasion, this time from the north east as the tri-bladed monsters make their way down from the Wolds to settle menacingly above Sancton, spoiling the much valued view of the hills, and no doubt paving the way for further invasions from the north.

It may be that before this advance from the north east is fully realised, we see an approved outpost established just outside Holme upon Spalding Moor, as two huge humming tri-bladed monster centurions are erected to guard the Gallymoor landfill site.

Needless to say a powerful and well-funded invasion on the southern front was halted by a courageous rear-guard stance by the village of Spaldington, who last year went into battle against not one, but two wind farm companies seeking to build giant wind turbines at each side of their small village. To fight this battle the community raised in excess of £80,000 to enable a courageous leader, Barrister Tina Douglas & her team of expert witnesses to be employed, and under this leadership, true grit, fortitude and the British bull-dog spirit shone through, and by putting together a fantastic case at the public enquiry, the result was that one wind farm application was thrown out by the Planning Inspector and the other conditioned in such a way that the turbines will not be able to operate at full capacity because of noise. It was an honour and a privilege to charge over the hill into battle alongside those brave Spaldington warriors.

One would have thought the Spaldington warriors had gone through enough and deserved a break, to lick their wounds, take time to reflect and to recoup their financial losses, but alas warfare is never like that. I received notice just before Christmas that more invaders from the south were on the march, this time planning to bypass Spaldington and group at a place further north towards Holme upon Spalding Moor and Foggathorpe. A letter from RWE npower renewables informed me that they had recently started to investigate the potential for wind farm development on land North of Spaldington around Gribthorpe and Arglam, and that they would be submitting a planning application to the East Riding of Yorkshire Council for an anemometer mast.

The company acknowledges that it is aware of the recent ‘Battle of Spaldington’ and has learnt from it. They have studied those applications, and they are giving careful thought to how their proposals would fit with the consented wind farm. They also state that they are taking into account the reasons for refusal for the Spaldington Common wind farm to ensure they can work with the community and key stake holders to design a wind farm that is suitable for the area. They then purport to recognise the importance and sensitivity of the recent decisions…. Is this the action of a desperate enemy trying to lull us into a false sense of security one wonders? But they will ignore at their peril the fact that the ‘Spaldington Warriors’ are only resting, rebuilding and rearming for any future challenge.

We should also not forget the threat from Goole Fields, for there is also a great army of huge tri-bladed monsters ready and waiting to be amassed south of the River Ouse, and stacked in rows to intimidate us from over the water.

But as in that great ‘Terminator’ movie franchise, the forces for good have been able to capture and reprogram not just one, but two of the tri-bladed machines, adopted and renamed by the Children of Howden, and now working for the good of Howdenshire as they stand proudly over the water treatment works at Loftsome Bridge. With each turn of their mighty blades the water we drink is pumped and purified.

The largest of the tri-bladed machines are to be placed off our coastline, which will hopefully serve to protect and guard us from any 'further advances' emanating from the EU.

My message is, we have to be vigilant, we have the knowhow gained from the ‘Battle of Spaldington’ and we have the determination - but we also have the confidence that the monsters have a lifespan of only 25 years and we can outlive them – just like we can outlive the career of the Climate Change Minister!